“I think sometimes when you find your true calling and purpose in life, that's when the real challenges begin. And those challenges aren't meant to break you. Those challenges are meant to test you.”
Today I have Kute Blackson on the show and we discuss his journey in helping people find their freedom and connect with their true selves. Death, forgiveness, focusing on what really matters in life, loving yourself above all things, are some of the topics we talk about in this episode.
He has a unique approach when it comes to coaching others.
I'm sure you'll find Kute's vision of life extremely eye-opening as he's experienced some amazing and tough things in his existence.
Some of today's HIGHLIGHTS:
(06:25) Getting to know Kute, his journey, and The Miracle Man from Africa.
(13:45) “The Uncoaching” method.
(15:38) Discovering freedom and the father-son relationship. Questioning who we are.
(33:04) The battle between honoring the truth of who I am but being scared to do so. Accepting death as part of life.
(45:09) “Not everyone is going to love you…and that’s ok”.
ABOUT KUTE
A beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher, Kute offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute’s multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual’s true gifts and greatness.
**WAYS TO ENTER MY WORLD**
CONTACT ALYSE
“I think sometimes when you find your true calling and purpose in life, that's when the real challenges begin. And those challenges aren't meant to break you. Those challenges are meant to test you.”
Today I have Kute Blackson on the show and we discuss his journey in helping people find their freedom and connect with their true selves. Death, forgiveness, focusing on what really matters in life, loving yourself above all things, are some of the topics we talk about in this episode.
He has a unique approach when it comes to coaching others.
I'm sure you'll find Kute's vision of life extremely eye-opening as he's experienced some amazing and tough things in his existence.
Some of today's HIGHLIGHTS:
(06:25) Getting to know Kute, his journey, and The Miracle Man from Africa.
(13:45) “The Uncoaching” method.
(15:38) Discovering freedom and the father-son relationship. Questioning who we are.
(33:04) The battle between honoring the truth of who I am but being scared to do so. Accepting death as part of life.
(45:09) “Not everyone is going to love you…and that’s ok”.
ABOUT KUTE
A beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher, Kute offers a fresh, bold look at spiritual awareness for a whole new generation. Born in Ghana, West Africa, Kute’s multicultural upbringing as the child of a Japanese mother and a Ghanaian father has spanned four different continents. His unique lineage lay the foundation for his approach to breaking down barriers and unlocking an individual’s true gifts and greatness.
**WAYS TO ENTER MY WORLD**
CONTACT ALYSE
Kute Blackson: Sometimes what your soul guides you to do It doesn't always make sense to your logic. Doesn't always make sense to your mind. Sometimes what your soul guides you to do is uncomfortable and confusing. But I really believe that when you follow your soul, you will always end up in the right place with the right people doing the right thing at the right time.
Getting complete with someone and getting free with someone is not about the other person. It's about your relationship with that person inside of yourself. There is no transformation and freedom without truth. To me, truth is real spirituality. If you're up to anything great in life, some people will love you and some people will hate you, but it really is not about you.
Alyse: Welcome to Reclaiming Consciousness. My name is Alyse Bacine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner and owner, and CEO of Alyse Breathes. For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma. Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of. In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising conscious. And creating a new way of living on this earth.
Get ready to go deep now. Let's dive in.
Hi everyone. Welcome back to the show. So this week, I'm sharing with you a conversation I had with this guy, Qt Blackson, who I had no idea who he was, but reached out to be on my podcast and then found out that he had written some pretty cool books and the work that he was doing was pretty cool, interesting and aligned with what I am doing or what I was doing at the time, to be perfectly honest with you.
I have just gotten back from Sedona from my week long retreat with Jennifer Longmore, and it has completely changed things for me. Not to say that the work that I'm doing is going to change necessarily, but the frequency I'm bringing to it is completely different. And I'm sure you can already feel and you've already been feeling it, especially for those of you that are closely connected with me in various ways.
There's just going to be a different texture and a different frequency that I'm bringing to all of you, which is super exciting because it's only going to benefit you. Because I am tapped into something completely different now. There's a whole new frequency I'm channeling. There's whole new galactic energies that I am shifting into.
I have gotten a ton of downloads around not really just the mother wound, but actually the healing of the mother energy. And what that's going to mean for the planet. And that's actually part of what I am here to do. So all of the work that I brought forward around healing the mother wound, we're now going to be taking to an entirely new level.
And I'm just channeling this right now. So I was not planning on saying any of that. But it's important for you to know just in the context of my work and how it's evolving and the frequency that I'm bringing forth onto the planet now, it is very clear. To me, not that it wasn't clear before, but it's just reached an entirely new level.
My channel has opened up in ways that are really just blowing my mind. And I can't wait to share all of that with you, especially in past lives and money. Our first call is today. You can still hop into the program at any time because you'll have access to the recordings. I highly, highly recommend joining us because we're going to restore your original coding that you came here to share.
Um, there's been so many distortions on the planet and we are so, so many of us, actually all of us are unknowingly subscribing to ideas and beliefs about yourself and reality that simply are not true. A lot of them having to do with past lives and the way that we've been conditioned on the planet that we've been carrying for lifetimes.
And it ends here. We are going to shift it in this program so that you can share your light. your expression, your divine mission with the world without any interference and without it being hard or feeling challenging for you and allow you to enjoy the financial freedom that you deserve and desire so that you can carry out your mission on the planet.
So please join us. If you feel called, we will link it below. Also, you can bundle with real results. Don't forget, that's a smart thing to do because both of them are going to be so good. Anyway, okay, I'm going to leave it there and let you listen to this episode and, um, Next week, I have a feeling I'll be coming strong with some more information from Sedona.
I'm probably going to be doing a roundtable with some of the ladies that were there. So you can really tap into the frequency and get the upgrades as well, because I desire that for you. And for. The planet in general. So I am so excited to connect in with you this week. Please enjoy the episode and reach out to me with any questions about past lives and money or anything else if you're desiring to jump in to my world in any capacity.
I'm sending you so much love and I will talk to you soon.
Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. So I am super excited to introduce you to today's guest. So today we have cute Blackson with us, who is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher and he spoke at countless events and organizes events around the world. I'm not even going to read his bio because I'm sure we will get into everything he does.
Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. Yeah, I'm so excited to chat with you. So can you just give us like a little bit of background as to like what you do and some of those pivotal moments that. Got you to where you are now.
Kute Blackson: Yeah, I am a transformational teacher, best selling author. I wrote two books, You Are the One and The Magic of Surrender.
For the last 22 years, I've been transforming lives all around the world through my one on one programs, my retreats, my larger seminars, online courses and videos and podcasts. Yeah, my purpose is to help people. experience freedom and the freedom of being connected to who you are. For me, I was born in Ghana, West Africa.
My father's from Ghana. My mother's Japanese. I grew up in London. I live in the U. S. I'm from everywhere and nowhere. And from a very young age, I would say that the foundation for what I'm doing now was seeded as a young boy in that I always felt a deep connection to people. There was a part of me that felt people's suffering and pain very deeply.
I just didn't know what to do with that. I would just feel people and want to help them and alleviate suffering in some way. And my childhood was a bit unusual, although for me I thought it was quite normal. Until folks started telling me not so normal and like my first memories as a young boy was seeing a crippled woman crawling on the floor.
She picks up the sand, the gravel that this man walks on, wipes it on her face and stands up and call that a miracle. So week after week I grew up seeing blind people see, deaf people hear, people stand up out of wheelchairs. The same man who was saying she picked up a look at a woman in a wheelchair and say, You're not sick stand up and they would stand up person would come in with crutches and he would say, why do you have these crutches, throw these crutches away and he would touch them and they would begin walking.
This man was my father. He was considered the miracle man of Africa. He built 300 churches in Ghana, West Africa, had hundreds of thousands of followers and his height. He was the spiritual teacher to kings and presidents in West Africa and Africa. He had a huge church in London, about four to five thousand people every Sunday.
And so for me, I started speaking in my father's churches when I was age eight, and that began my speaking career. Age 14, I was ordained as a minister. And that was a very pivotal moment where basically it was announced that I was the successor to my father's legacy, his work, his organization. And unbeknownst to me, without any conversation with me, it was just announced and I was chlorinated, so to speak.
And I knew that in that moment, this wasn't my path. I knew that this wasn't my destiny. My entire life was basically scripted for me by my father and everyone else. And I think like many of us, I was too afraid to speak the truth. My fear was if I really speak my truth. I'm going to lose my father. I'm going to be outcast.
I'm going to be alone. I think many of us, we hold back who we really are. We don't share our voice. We betray ourselves because we're afraid if you really know who I am, you won't love me. And so we hide our light. We play small. And so for me, for four years. I went along with the plan. I tried to become who I thought I need to be in order to be loved and validated and to fit myself into the box of this idea of who I thought I needed to be.
And about four years of searching and turmoil and inner questioning and internal negotiation and suffering and depression, I turned 18 and I got to the point where I had to make some decisions about my life. Another pivotal moment was I chose not to go to university. I figured life had more to teach me and so I felt around that age, a very strong calling in my soul to come to America, to come to Los Angeles, to come to Southern California because I would sneak into my father's office every day.
He had a bookshelf and he literally had a thousand books on his bookshelf, everyone from the Eastern Mystics of America. Osho and Krishnamurti to the Western mystics Ouspensky to Wayne Dyer and Luis Hay and Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson. And so these folks were my heroes. And as a young kid, I felt my soul calling me to go into this field of personal growth and personal development.
And sometimes what your soul guides you to do. It doesn't always make sense to your logic, doesn't always make sense to your mind. Sometimes what your soul guides you to do is uncomfortable and confusing, but I really believe that when you follow your soul and you don't compromise your soul's intelligence, your soul's calling, you will always end up in the right place with the right people doing the right thing at the right time, even on the path that you take may not be the one you most expect.
And so I knew what I had to do and I looked into my future. And I saw that I could take over my father's church, I could follow the expected path, but if I don't have myself, if I don't have my integrity, if I don't have my own soul, what the hell do I have? What kind of success is that? And so, I blew up my life, and I renounced everything, and I decided to follow my soul.
And I spoke to my father, which was terrifying, I had to grieve, for four years I had to grieve the loss of my father, and make peace with that, and it was really heartbreaking. And when I finally had that conversation as a 17 year old kid and told my father I would not be taking over, I thought my life was over, but it felt like I did not have a choice.
It was something bigger than me and we didn't speak for two years. Sometimes people think that when you find your calling, your purpose in life, life is easy. Everything unfolds effortlessly. The angels appear, the miracles just start popping out and things are effortless. I think sometimes when you find your true calling and purpose in life, that's when the real challenges begin.
And those challenges aren't meant to break you, those challenges are meant to test you. Are gifts that you need to face and unwrap so that you can find the deeper, uh, potential, the deeper power so that you can develop the mental, emotional, spiritual, psychological muscle, soul force to be able to face and deal with the challenges of what it's going to take to truly live your purpose.
And so I told my father, we didn't speak for two years. It was difficult. Long story short, I ended up winning, literally winning a green card in the green card lottery. And that's what enabled me to come as a young man, 18 years old to the U. S. with two suitcases, 800 in my pocket. I went and found many of the mentors and the self help gurus that I've read about, studied with some of them, learned from some of them a few years after being in the U. S. I started traveling and that was another pivotal moment where I wanted to know a deeper sense of truth for myself. I was tired of like reading books and getting more information. And so I decided to walk the Camino. And I went and walked a 900 kilometer track, shaved my head. I took a backpack and went to walk this camino.
This is a 900 kilometer walk that people like St. Francis of Assisi and Dante and Chaucer have walked in search of themselves. And then I went to Israel, studied with some rabbis. I went to Thailand, studied with some monks. I ended up in India and it was about three to four months in India that kind of cracked me open to another world dimension of myself and truth and purpose. And that's when I came back to the US and I began working with people 22 years ago, no idea what the hell I was doing. This is before coaching was popular. There was no social media. All I had was a sincere desire and intention to help people. I felt so free. I had no relationship.
I had no money. I was basically homeless, but I felt. A sense of freedom that wasn't based on anything outside. And I wanted people to feel that. And one person showed up and I was, I would talk to them and other person showed up. Eventually I created my own way of working with people that became radically transformative.
I call it uncoaching. And I created an entire process and one person came and people started coming from around the world to work with me. And then it just organically grew from there, small groups and larger groups and two best selling books. And here we are. So that's the short version of my story.
Alyse: Wow. There's so much there and I can actually relate to a lot of it. I didn't have a father that was a. person like that, but I can relate to just a lot of how you felt. And it's really interesting that you bring up this idea of freedom and freedom being just allowing yourself to be who you truly are. I actually just did a whole two day event based on that exact concept last week.
So it's really funny that you are. Talking about this because it's been something that has been really present for me because so many of the people that I work with often say, I want freedom. They want more money because they want freedom. They want to start a business because they want freedom, right?
And people think freedom is this thing outside of them. They think it's like, oh, well, if I have. More money than I'll have freedom. If I have a job that I can work from anywhere, then I'll have freedom. But really it's a state of being inside of you. And it's allowing yourself to be who you truly are. So like, can you talk just a little bit about that and how that journey was for you of discovering that?
I'm also curious to know about your relationship with your father and how that has kind of evolved.
Kute Blackson: Yeah, my, my relationship with my father evolved. There was a lot of healing, which we can get into. The relationship with my father really shifted when I was maybe 21. That was the first step, but probably took 20, 19 years to truly.
Evolve it, but I remember being 18, sitting in my room in Los Angeles, California, in downtown LA, in a tiny shoebox apartment, feeling sorry for myself, bitching, moaning, and complaining, and screaming at God, feeling like all me, having a pity party, feeling like nobody loves me, and I don't, I'm from wealth and money, and I wish I did and I hate my dad because I felt so unsupported and I felt so alone. And I remember having this epiphany was, it was like, I don't want to say God spoke to me, but it was this clear sensation that nobody owes you anything. It was like, nobody owes me anything. And it was such a clear sort of, I don't know, like moment of, Here I am feeling so sorry for myself, I'm healthy, and I'm sitting here wallowing in my misery for no reason really other than my mind's making. And I saw clearly that nobody owes me anything and that if I was going to change my life, I was going to have to stop making my father responsible and blaming him for my predicament.
That I saw that my father was incapable of. Doing and being any other way based on his conditioning and his childhood being born in the 1930s in a jungle, basically in Africa without a father himself. It wasn't even personal. He was just incapable. No more than a, a giraffe would not be able to drive my car.
My father was not able to give me the love that I wanted. And so constantly seeking to make him responsible for that was just pretty much suffering for myself. And so when I really got that, if I was going to truly transform my life, I was going to have to give up blame and take full responsibility for what I do with my life from this moment onwards.
And long story short, I got into a seminar. It was a men's weekend, men running in the forest, beating their chests, doing sweat nudges and screaming and howling at the moon, literally. And I got to this point in the seminar where I really I got to feel and acknowledge the pain and anger I had towards my father, and I got to forgive my father.
Truly forgiving someone is freedom. That is the freedom that we have. We don't have the freedom to change what happened. We don't have the freedom to change who they were, and that doesn't condone and make what happened right and okay and excusable and any of that, but the fact is what happened and it's not changing.
So what we choose to do with that is what's going to determine our freedom. And when we hold on to anger, hold on to pain, hold on to resentment, hold on to grudges, we just disempower ourselves and give the past and give the other person so much power over us. But what we do have the freedom to do is forgive and let go and choose to free ourselves.
And many times we wait for another person, in this case, my father, we wait for that other person to apologize, to acknowledge their sins, to make amends, to, to come to us and say, Hey, son, daughter, I'm sorry. But they weren't capable. They don't have the emotional capacity. And when we spend our entire lives trying to get them to be some other way than they are, then we spend our entire lives trying to get people in our lives to give us what they didn't give us.
We stay stuck in the loop of the past. Trying to get needs met from people who aren't our parents, as an example, and we keep ourselves trapped in a prison. And so getting complete with someone and getting free with someone is not about the other person. It's about your relationship with that person inside of yourself.
It's about your relationship with, in this case, my father inside of myself. Which has nothing to do with them. And I think when we get clear on that, whether they're dead, whether they're alive, we can be free the moment we recognize, the moment we let go, the moment we take responsibility, the moment we choose freedom, the moment we choose to be happy, the moment we say, no one and nothing is worth my happiness.
And that moment we choose to forgive is a moment of freedom. And I chose to forgive my father. Because I realized that he was probably in a lot of pain and he was probably had his own traumas and things that he didn't even know, wasn't even conscious of, did not acknowledge on a human level, even though he was a great man.
And I had a moment of really just forgiving my father and getting in touch with the profound love I have for this soul, for this man. And I didn't tell him, we didn't speak about it, but literally a week later, after two years of not speaking, my father called me up and said, son, I think we need to have a conversation.
And that's what can happen. And that was the beginning of the healing. That was the beginning of the healing with my father. And there was a tremendous amount of freedom that happened from there. Now, what I will say is I feel all of us. At the core, we are all free. We were born free. Freedom is our nature.
Freedom is what we are. But because we've been conditioned and we've lost touch with that sense of inner freedom, innate freedom, unconsciously, we are constantly seeking to find a sense of freedom in the world. We think that if we can be famous, make enough money, have enough sex, drink enough alcohol, look better, be better, live forever, get the house, that whatever it is, nothing wrong with material manifestations.
But we're mistakenly thinking that when we can achieve that thing or we can manipulate the world to be a certain way, then we're going to be free. And now our freedom is dependent on things outside, which makes us less free and makes us prisoners to the external world, because the external world... is temporary.
It's impermanent. And how often does the external world conforms to what we think we want and need. And if we're waiting for that to happen, we're just prisoners. We're prisoners to events because much of it is not in our control. So I think when we can realize that we were born free, freedom is our nation.
We've just been conditioned. So for me, this was the process that I had to go through as a young man. This was the process of what my work is about, my uncoaching, my seminars, it's about helping people become aware of their conditioning. And so look, we were all children. As a child, we were free. We were pure light, pure consciousness, just in touch without connection to the divine, totally surrenders.
As a child, we would, we didn't know what it meant to be a man, what it meant to be a woman, what it meant to be black, white, green, orange, what it meant to be Christian, Buddhist. We didn't have any preconceived ideas and limitations and stories and concepts. We were just pure being that's totally free without any concept until we incarnate into the human experience.
And we meet our parents. Now our parents, God bless them, they're just doing the best that they know how to do based on their grandparents and their parents. So now, these three beings, we incarnate and we're like, uh, born into a pre set pattern of conditioning. Based on grandparents and generational karma and momentum.
And so now we meet our parents. Maybe dad is crazy. Maybe mom is an alcoholic. Maybe they're fighting all the time. Maybe there's pain, abuse, dysfunction, sexual, mental, emotional. Maybe dad wasn't around and abandoned us. Maybe they were great people. But they just didn't know how to meet our emotional needs and that was painful.
And so two things happened. The first thing is we learn all sorts of strategies to shut down this fennec and not feel the pain of, that is crazy and I feel helpless and it's unstable and they're fighting all the time or there's, I'm being emotionally abused or manipulated or. It feels horrible and helpless to feel like my emotional needs aren't being met, and that feels painful.
So, we learn all sorts of unconscious strategies, survival mechanism, to shut down, disconnect, not seal, not seal, not seal. Layers and layers and layers and layers and layers and layers of acknowledged, unprocessed emotions that we suppress to function and survive, to deal with our reality, start to... layer up and cover up our true light, our true innate freedom.
So now we're not even in touch with the freedom of our beings because the mountain of unprocessed feeling is covering that up. And now we erect walls around our feeling capacity in our heart as a self protective mechanism because it's too painful to feel helpless and to feel out of control when we're not having our needs met or when mom and dad are fighting.
So now we disconnect from our feelings and we erect these walls around the heart to just control. And function survives. Then we also learn a way of being in the world. Like, who do I need to be for that to love me? For me, I thought I needed to be the perfect son, the good boy. You know, I'm the preacher's kid.
I'm the healer's kid. I'm the holy man's kid. So I thought I needed to be like this perfect kid who got all aids and took care of everyone. So we start to develop. A role, a mask, a persona. We start becoming and controlling ourselves into a pattern and a shape of who we think we need to be in order to get love and validation and approval and we become this version of ourselves.
Thinking like, this is who I really am, but it's not, it's just the conditioned version that we become, that we hold so tightly onto, that it becomes our identity. And now, the more we're conditioned, the more, the less free we are, and the more we hold onto that, the more we are now just living inside of a prison of conditioning, and it's, it's survival.
This holding on sense of identification is what ego is. Ego is that conditioned sense of self of what we have been conditioned to be from childhood. And ego is often a reaction to things that happen as a self-protective mechanism. The thing is, the ego's job is to protect you from getting hurt like you were hurt back then.
And the ego's job is to reinforce this existence, and this is why when we hold so tightly, we're not free. Which is why I think many of us, we just say, this is just who I am. I'm just this way. I'm just nice. I'm just independent. I just don't care. But the truth is it's conditioning. And so I think many of us, our true freedom gets lost or locked in trap inside of this prisoner persona.
And we feel a deeper sense of how there's so much potential inside. There's so much love inside, but it doesn't really express. And so I think we have to be willing to to question our conditioning. We have to be willing to question who we are, but it is scary to question who we think we are because ego doesn't want to change.
Ego wants everything else and everyone else to change, but it doesn't want to change because it's just self preservation, which is why we tend to resist change. Even if what we're living is limiting, it's being reinforced through a sense of identity and experiences and parents and society and media and religion and everything experiences and everyone around us.
And so We have to be willing to question ourselves. I think that's the first step. Who am I? What am I? What do I believe? Is this who I am? Do I really know this about me for sure? We're often afraid to let go of the beliefs about ourselves because we mistakenly believe we are those beliefs, but we're not.
We think we are the ego, but we're not. And I think the second thing is, as a place to start, we have to be willing, I think. But one of the ways we keep ourselves stuck from truly being free are all the lies that we tell ourselves. I think as human beings, all the reasons I just expressed in many ways, we're constantly lying to ourselves about who we are, about what we feel, about what we want, thinking if I am who I really am, I won't be loved and how will I get needs met and how will I survive?
And will I be me anymore? And maybe I won't exist. And so I think if we can start with the truth, what is the truth? One of the ways we resist and keep ourselves safe is. being unconscious, being in denial, negotiating. We stay in relationships that we know are not aligned. We work jobs that we hate, that compromise our integrity.
Sometimes we betray ourselves saying yes, when we mean no, that causes more pain. And so if we really want to transform, there is no transformation without truth. And so I think if we can just start with What lies am I telling myself and feel that it can be scary to tell ourselves the truth So I tell people take the pressure off of yourself of having to take action Take the pressure off of yourself of having to do anything because often the fear of the consequence of rule if I really acknowledge The truth.
What will happen to my life? What will happen to my relationship? What will happen to my job? So the ego again, self protection creates this sort of confusion zone of I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know if this relationship is right. I'm not sure what my purpose is when deep down. We know what's true.
There is a part of us that knows everything. Because at the deepest level, we are connected to everything. We know that relationship is not right. We know what our purpose is. But sometimes being in the smokestream of confusion means we don't have to really take action. If I don't have to take action on my purpose, then I don't have to risk the possible.
Failure and feeling out of control. I could always live in the sort of future fantasy of possibility and live in the safe zone and protect my ego. But deep down we know. And so if we can just start with what lies am I telling myself? There is no transformation and freedom without truth. To me, truth is real spirituality.
We have to want the truth more than we want what we think we want. It's the truth that will set us free. So what lies am I telling myself? What am I pretending to not know? Be willing, if you take the pressure off of yourself from having to take action, then you can just start with, I'm not in love anymore.
I haven't been in love with my wife for 18 years, five years. It's scary to just admit that. But if you take the pressure off, you don't have to leave. You don't have to divorce. You don't have to do anything. Just get into relationship with the truth of what you feel. That might lead you to have a conversation, which might lead to a breakthrough.
It might lead you to have a conversation, which might lead to a breakup. But if you can just start with the truth, I'm not in love, and allow those feelings to bubble up, it will lead to the next step. I hate my job. Feel that. You don't have to leave. Because you might say, but I have bills to pay and I can't just...
I hate my job. Just get into a relationship with it. You can't change something. Until you're honest about what it is you feel and where you're truly at and get in touch with the reality of what is. And so I hate my job. And then you can allow the true feelings, the fear, the emotions, the truth to start coming up to the surface.
Then you can decide what to do about it. So if we can start with the truth, acknowledge what we're pretending to not know, and then allow ourselves to just feel the feelings, the pain. When we lie to ourselves. It is painful. When we lie to ourselves, it's meant to be painful. It's not meant to feel good.
The challenges in our culture that keeps us stuck from being free is we feel the pain and we distract ourselves. We smoke it away, we drink it away, we sex it away, we shop it away, we eat it away, we meditate it away, whatever it is, to not social media it away so that we don't feel the pain. But the pain is feedback.
The pain is a messenger. The pain is a gift. The pain is trying to bring our attention likely to some part of ourselves that we are not paying attention to. When we lie to ourselves, we're not an integrity. Pain is a manifestation. Physical pain, a backache, a shoulder rake, you know, your unconscious is manifesting an ongoing disease.
Your unconscious truth is manifesting, trying to get your attention in some way. Emotional pain. A depression, feeling lack of energy, uninspired, this is a signal. So I think if you're feeling some pain, people can just ask themselves, what is the pain trying to teach me? What is the communication? What is the message of this pain?
What do I need to pay attention to? What am I ignoring? What am I not being honest about? Because when we're not in integrity, pain in some shade or form will often be the communication. So I think if we can start there, that can lead to an opening to more freedom.
Alyse: Absolutely. Wow. I agree with everything you said, and I think that is the scariest thing for people. You know, I have a lot of women I work with, mostly women, who come to me all the time that they know they want more, right? Like, they can feel that pull of they see the work that I'm doing or other people that are doing it, and they know they want to step into this version of themselves, but then It's like all of that stuff that they come up against where it's like, okay, now what do I have to be real with myself about?
Yes. And I know I came up against this too, especially when I started my business because when I started my business, I had to get really honest about things in my life that I wasn't being honest with myself about, about my relationship, about, The way I was relating to myself about so many things, right?
And it's scary. So for somebody who's like in that state where it's like, I can see that I'm being pulled to more. I can see that I'm being pulled to honor the truth of who I am, but I'm scared. What would you say to that person?
Kute Blackson: Great. Congratulations. You're scared. So what? You're scared. And? You're scared?
It's like this idea that we're supposed to not be scared. Self help books have sold us a bunch of lies just to get sales. Yeah. You got to get rid of your fears. That is not true. Nothing wrong with fear. It's really about your relationship with fear. Because whenever you are growing. Whenever you are expanding, whenever you are evolving, you're going to expand beyond who you've been and that can be a little bit scary or not scary.
So if you have some fear, that's the sign that you're going. If you never feel fear in your life, probably your goals in your life is way too comfortable. You're playing it way too safe. Because if I say, okay, sit in your living room all day and walk from your living room to your kitchen, is there any fear there?
Hell no. There's no fear there, but there's also no growth there. But whenever you're going to go somewhere that you haven't been, can I do it? And oh my god, it's yes, you are being forced to evolve and expand and grow. So the fact that you have some fear is probably a sign that you're on the right path of growth and evolution.
I'm not talking about fear of jumping off a 80 story building or being chased by a tiger. I'm talking about just the fear of growth and evolution and stretching outside of your comfort zone. So there's meant to be some fear. The key is how you relate to it. The key is observe it, breathe into it, don't resist it, welcome it.
As you breathe into the fear and acknowledge its presence, the fear can transform into excitement. As you breathe into the fear and acknowledge its presence and just learn how to encourage and relate and love yourself through that moment, like, yeah, reassure yourself like we're okay right now. Then all you need to focus on is what's the next step.
Many times we stay paralyzed in fear because we're focusing on the 7, 000 things that we need to do. In the future, and then we go into the future and we think about all of the sort of possibilities or we think of two things, all of the things that we need to do in the future, all at once, which creates overwhelming fear.
So I tell people, no, chunk it down, focus on what's the next action step right now. And I make that phone call. Can I send that one email? Yeah, I can send that one email. But send me 400. But one. I can do one. So we have to start there. What is the next action step right now? That's one thing. Or we tend to go into the future.
And we start creating all sorts of scenarios that aren't here right now. We start creating all sorts of scenarios, negative future fantasies about possible things in the future that haven't happened yet. But they might happen. But they haven't happened yet. But they could happen. But they haven't happened yet.
But maybe they'll happen. Like I might die. We are gonna die. Except that at some point, none of us know when their mom's gonna die. We might get hidden out by aliens right now. It's possible, but it's not happening so many times. We're not aware that we're going into the future, experiencing creating negative future fantasies and scenarios in the future, and we're experiencing the fear of that in the present.
And so, what's important is you bring yourself, observe where your attention is, and bring yourself back to this moment, right now. What's here right now? I'm afraid. What's here right now? I'm afraid of what? If I follow my business, I'm gonna be hopeless. Am I homeless right now? No. And so I tell people sometimes, what is the worst case scenario?
If I go for my business and start that thing, I'm gonna be homeless. What is the worst thing that would happen if you left your job and it didn't work out? Would you really be homeless? Well, no, probably not. Homeless? Would you be in downtown LA in skid row homeless? Nah. Well, what would you do? Well, I would go live on my parents couch.
And then what? Live for two, three months, and then what? Get a job? Doing what? I don't know what I'm doing now. So technically, many of us, we don't even realize, that the thing we're afraid of, which is the worst case scenario, we're already living it, because the deep fear of, like, get a job and do what I'm doing now, we're already doing that now, so, what do we have to lose?
And so I think sometimes we have to step back, not just allow our fear to control us, but observe and pay attention to our minds, pay attention to our focus, pay attention to our attention and bring ourselves back. And then when we feel the fear, I'm afraid that I'm going to be, we have to look at it. Is this fact or is it fiction?
Because many times we are just being run by emotion and we don't realize that we are buying into a fiction because a fiction that we're going to be homeless, we're not going to be homeless. Okay. It might be challenging for a few months or a year, but then we would get a job and move into a different experience.
And so we have to look at, am I living a fiction or is this based on reality? What is the fact versus what is the fiction? I think if we can make peace with the worst case. We free ourselves, but if we can get into reality, we stop freeing ourselves also because much of what we're afraid of is not really rooted reality.
Some people might say, but the worst case did happen. Okay, but let's, okay, let's go there for a second. If the worst case fear happened, what did you do? You look at your life. Yeah, I did. I did end up having the worst case. But then what happened? Likely you made it through. You made it through that and you're here today and you learn and you grew and you evolved and here you are.
So even the worst case Although not ideal, we'll get through it. And I think when we can know and have that deeper sense of knowing, like, yeah, I'll get through it, then it gives us a deep sense of resilience that no matter what I'm going to go through, I get to grow through and I will make it through.
Even though I don't know how I'm going to make it through right now, I will make it through. And that deep sense of knowing, how do I know I've made it through? Because for 50, 60 years of my life, I'm still alive and I've made it through. So if I've made it through things up until now, I will make it through again, even though I'm not sure how, because in those moments in the past, you weren't sure how either, but you made it through.
And that's, I think what people can just step back and really like digest.
Alyse: Like the more you do that too, the more you trust it. Like I know for me. Once I started my business and I started making these bigger life moves and I started investing money and I started making more money, like, it was like, once I realized that I, if I just said yes, based on my knowing, not needing to know the how, and it always worked, then I got more and more comfortable not needing to know how it was going to work and just trusting that, knowing, but I feel like you have to Get used to that and like see the evidence of that working and then you're like, oh, yeah, it feels a little scary, but now I've done that 25 times in the last three years. So now I'm just like, fuck it.
Kute Blackson: Yeah, yeah, look, look, the worst that happened, obviously, look, the worst that happens. Is you die, let's just be, let's just get real.
The worst that happens is you die. So launching that thing, like realistically, we asked ourselves, am I going to die? I'm not going to die. Okay. I'm not going to die. But let's just say you die. What would happen if you died? You'd be dead. And if you're dead, you wouldn't give a shit, you know, when you're dead, you're not going to really care.
Now, obviously just to make light and we're making light of it a little bit, but the truth is if we're dead, we won't care. Chances of us dying, not very high. And look, life is risky. I invite people. Let's go there for a second. You are going to die. Deal it. If you're afraid, feel your death. You're going to die.
I'm afraid. I'm playing small. I'm holding back. Yeah, life is ticking away. It's 2023. We started this pandemic thing three years ago. It's now three years since the damn pandemic. Another three years in 2026. It's like gone like that. 2026. And then you're 82 years old. Life is over. It's flying by. You are going to die.
Whether you hold back, protect yourself in fear, or you give everything You're Elon Musk, Dianne Skidrow, we're gonna die, there's no escape, no way out, you, me, Bruce Lee, Oprah, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Leo Messi, Henley, we're all gonna die, there is no way out, Buddha, Mandela, Martin Luther King, they all died, if they died, we sure as hell are going to die, none of us know when that moment will come.
The question isn't if we're going to die, the question is when, and the question then becomes how do we want to live, because we don't know when that moment will come. I guarantee you the people that died in that 9 11 or a tsunami or an accident today, none of them knew that they weren't going to come home today and look their loved ones in the eyes.
And say, I love you, or I'm sorry. We don't know when that moment will come, and so I would invite you to sit with, feel your death. If you're, I'm afraid, feel your death, because when you feel the fact, I'm gonna die, most of the things that we worry about and we're afraid about, most of it doesn't really matter.
Most of that means nothing. Hails into comparison when we realize, shit, I'm gonna die. Why am I worrying about what people are gonna think? People that won't be at my funeral, people that will come to my funeral, and one hour later will be eating cake that I bought for them, or my family bought for them, and they're gonna be eating pie, cake, and having tea, and then going on about their lives.
Why am I worrying about people that aren't gonna be truly even caring about? And so, face your death. Make peace with it, because when you can make peace with it, it brings you into the profound sacredness and preciousness of every moment. And it reminds you that most of the things that you're worrying about really aren't that important.
Because on your deathbed, much of it you won't care about. You won't really care about. And so, what's ungiven? If death came today, would you be ready? If not, why not? What's unsaid? Who have you not forgiven? What have you not put out into the world? What have you not created? What have you not spoken? What have you not podcasted?
What have you not written? What have you not expressed? When we die, we can't go to God or whatever you believe and say to our maker, I wasted three years in that job and I get those three years back in a refund. It's gone. I wasted five years in that relationship that I knew really wasn't, I tried to make it gone.
And so how would you need to live in such a way? That you have no regrets. So if you're feeling fear, it's okay. It's natural. As a human being, you don't have to get rid of it. But feel the fear. Breathe into it. Love yourself through it. And take the step and do the best you can. Because... At least in this incarnation, you have one shot to do it in this human experience and then it's gone.
Alyse: Yeah. It's so true. And I think so many people, at least who I see, waste so much time worrying about what other people are going to think. And on top of that, worrying about losing people that they care about or the people in their lives. Like you were talking about.
Kute Blackson: You will. You will. Here's the thing. You will lose people if you're growing and evolving.
I would love to make everyone feel good and say, Hey, when you connect with your truth and your authentic self and you transform, everyone's going to love you. And everyone, this is what all the books say. Everyone's going to have to find friends and influence people. Everyone's going to love you.
Everyone's going to. It's not true. Everyone didn't love Jesus. Everyone didn't love Muhammad Ali. Everyone didn't love Mandela. They put him in prison for 27 years. Everyone didn't love Gandhi. They killed him. Everyone didn't love Mother Teresa. Everyone doesn't love Greta Thunberg. Everyone doesn't love Oprah.
Everyone doesn't love Elon Musk. The truth is If you can just accept that, just make peace with it, everyone's not going to love you. It's just bad. If you're up to anything great in life, some people will love you and some people will hate you. But it really is not about you. How people feel about you and their opinions about you reflect more about them than it does about you.
Because when you allow your light to shine, when you dare to step into your greatness, a few things happen. And when you dare to become more authentic, a few things will happen. Number one. You will lose people. You will lose people that aren't growing and evolving at the same rate as you. And you will lose people that were connected to the old version, old identity that you were before.
They will no longer be a vibrational match and resonate with who you are today because you've shifted into a different person that they'll not, you'll just no longer connect with them. You will lose people. It is fat. Make peace with that. So many people play small in order to hold on to the people in their lives, not realizing that you're not serving yourself and you're not serving them.
It doesn't serve other people for you to play small, to make other people feel comfortable. Playing small and hiding your light to make other people feel comfortable doesn't serve you, doesn't serve the world, doesn't serve them. The greatest gift you can be to anyone in your life is to be the most magnificent version of yourself.
That is a manifestation of the divine. You are like the first thing treated was light is the nature of light to shine. So when you allow your light to shine, you're like to the world, you're an inspiration to people around you. Then you are also an invitation to those people in your life. To step into that next level of possibility.
The thing is, when you shine your light, some people will not like it. Friends will not like it. They'll say, oh, you're different now. Some of the people that you most love will try to bring you down. Make peace with it. It's not personal. What it is, is two things. When they see you stepping into your light, they're reminded.
It's painful for them because they're reminded of the ways in which they are not. So rather than face that and deal with that, they'd rather bring you down. Or they're scared and they're afraid that they're going to lose you so they want to bring you down as a way to stay connected to you. And that's just the natural process of what happens.
And then also many people that don't even know you will project onto you. Just make peace with it up front, it's going to happen. They will project onto you. Ah, they're this or they're that. And who's this? At least it's that. They don't even know you. But what they think about you reflects more about them than it does about you.
Their projection on you and the way they see you is more of a reflection of their own traditioning than the truth of who you are. So make peace. To the real freedom, we started this conversation talking about freedom. The real freedom is when you unhook yourself from people's negative opinions about you.
Because that reflects more about them. That's their deal. Yep. But also unhook, but here's the key now, unhook yourself too from people's positive opinions about you. Yeah. That also reflects about them than about you. And what you have to make peace with is knowing who you are. Being connected to your truth, connected to yourself, and knowing like, who am I?
So that you live in alignment with your integrity, because that's all you have, and when you can live in alignment with your integrity, that is something that nobody can take away from you. Integrity. See, in life you have a couple of things. The first thing is you have reputation. You do this podcast, you do an event.
A hundred people at the event, here's the thing, you will have a hundred reputation. At least it's this, good, it's that, a hundred reputation. You can't control that. Trying to control how other people perceive you, suffering. But in the middle of the night, when nobody is around, when you wake up at 2am and you look yourself in the mirror, can you feel at peace?
In knowing who you are, that you are living in alignment with your truth. You are living in alignment with your authenticity. You were living in alignment with what you know was true for your own soul. That is freedom. That is confidence. And that is power. And that, I think, It's all you can do, but it takes some courage. And that's why we're here.
Alyse: Absolutely. Wow. Thank you. I couldn't agree more with everything you said and I think that one of the things I I work with so many people on is. Yes, of course, we have to unhook ourselves from the negative things people say, but also we can't be reliant on people having a positive view of us too in order for us to have a positive view of us.
Yes. And exactly what you're talking about, of knowing who you are and not needing. Anything outside of you, for you to place value on yourself, is, that really is the freedom. So, thank you so much for sharing all of that and everything you said. It was amazing, inspirational, mind expanding. So, can you just let people know, I know you have a, something to share with us, and can you share with people how they can find you?
Kute Blackson: Sure, I would say the first simple way is get my new book, The Magic of Surrender. It's about finding the courage to let go and living surrender in every area of your life. To me, surrender is the password for real freedom. If you look at truly great ones, Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Mandela, the list goes on, right?
They all surrendered and they live the true meaning of surrender and look what they created in the world. And so the book is a very simple manual for living surrender in everyday life. So it's available on Amazon. Get the paperback version. Uh, as it's updated, check that out. It's on sale right now. If folks were inspired by the conversation and they feel maybe ready for the next level of their lives, twice a year I do a very, very special event to Bali.
It's all about helping people get free and unconditioning themselves. And so if you're someone you feel a. a calling to make a difference in people's lives. You feel ready for that next level of your life. You feel ready to heal and transform and let go of the past, connect to your true self and live your gifts and share your gifts with the world.
Uh, join me in Bali. People can find out more. The event is called Boundless Bliss. The Bali Breakthrough Experience is 12 days. It's life changing. I've done this event for 10 years. I've done 20 of these events. And so if anyone feels it, this is the moment. It's, uh, it's revolutionary. Uh, www boundless bliss bali.com.
That's boundless bliss bali.com. My main website, the People is K. My name K U T E Kute Blackson, B L A C K S O N . com. And then, uh, Instagram Kute Blackson, Facebook Kute love Now my podcast, soul Talk.
Alyse: Awesome. Thank you so much. It was so great. Connecting with you and being in your energy. Thank you so much for sharing all of this with us. And yeah, I know everyone's going to love it. Thanks for being here.
Kute Blackson: Thank you.
Alyse: Thank you so much for being here. Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review and share the show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content. When you leave a review, send us a screenshot and we'll send you a $250 credit, you can apply to anything else in my world. You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram at alyse_breathes and by joining my Facebook group, financial freedom for spiritual entrepreneurs, where I share all of my most fun and potent content.
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