“I was raised in a typical family, just the American family, where mom and dad put their kids first, and the partner’s next and themselves last, believing this is the loving thing to do, so that’s what I did. I was raised believing that love means you must deny yourself.”
In this week's episode, we engage in a powerful and vulnerable conversation with Terri Britt, a former Miss U.S.A, teacher, author, and motivational speaker.
Terri's insights on worthiness inspire thought-provoking discussions about self-worth and how it impacts our lives.
She reflects on her younger years when she sought validation from external sources, such as accolades, a boyfriend, and awards, but found that the resulting feeling of emptiness always lingered.“I hated myself” Terri comments, until she took notice of the importance of spiritual healing and clearing out blocks: “the more I did this the more peaceful I became and the more joyful I became.”
(08:07) Terry’s pivotal moments
(12:45) Something “I was always looking for”
(17:49) Not worthy of love
(21:04) The inner child
(25:54) Doing the work as a mom
(30:41) Aligning with truth
(38:04) Kinesthetic learners
CONNECT WITH TERRI
**WAYS TO ENTER MY WORLD**
Terri: I was raised believing that love means you must deny yourself. I would win at life in a lot of ways, but I didn't feel it on the inside. I got molested by a modeling agent, and I knew without a doubt that this was wrong, but I had so been programmed to believe that the man was God, that I didn't feel like I had a voice to step away from it.
I actually sat in my hotel room and contemplated giving back the crown, and I realized in that moment that daddy had no forgiveness of himself. And then under finally understood that he couldn't receive love because he didn't feel worthy of it. And it hit me as I'm looking at his life, that I was like my dad.
We wanna be able to put ourselves in a high vibration. We wanna attract things to us, but if we're holding guilt and shame, we're going to keep ourselves in self punishment. Because when you think of love as I must deny myself, no, when you deny yourself, you disconnect from your truth. The first night in a meditation class, it was the Southern California Psychic Institute.
And the first night I see the spirit go across the room and I'm like, holy crap. And I said, I'm, I'm seeing a man. And it was more of a silhouette. It wasn't like I could see every feature, but I said, it feels like a man with a beard. And as I'm saying it, he moves up next to her and she puts her hand up.
She goes like, yeah, he's right here. This is the founder of the school. He passed over years ago, and he's always hanging out here. You can imagine I was hooked.
Alyse: Welcome to reclaiming consciousness. My name is Alyse Bacine, spiritual mentor, breathwork practitioner and owner, and CEO of Alyse Breathes. For many years, our consciousness has been hijacked by societal and cultural programming, religion, the media, and familial and ancestral trauma. Right now, during this epic time in history, people are waking up, realizing who they really are and reclaiming the pieces of their consciousness that they unknowingly gave away.
This podcast is an exploration of how so many spectacular humans are leading the way in exiting the matrix and reclaiming who they really are and what they're capable of. In this show, you'll meet exceptional people who are paving the way in raising conscious. And creating a new way of living on this earth.
Get ready to go deep now. Let's dive in.
Hi everyone. Welcome back to the show. This week's guest, I had such a powerful conversation with her. You'll hear me. I start crying I think at a couple times during this conversation cuz it was just so vulnerable and dear to my heart, and she shared some really powerful things that resonated so deeply with me.
Her name is Terri Britt. She's a former Miss USA turned, um, motivational speaker and teacher, and she teaches a lot about worthiness, which obviously really resonates with me. You guys all know. I just finished a course called Inherently Worthy, which was so incredibly powerful, by the way. I mean, the shifts that were made were so amazing.
The transmissions that came through were unreal. Everyone keeps telling me how it changed their lives, and I actually think I'm going to have it as a digital offering, so stay tuned for that. We just have to get that all set up and then I will let everyone know that that's available for purchase. But even just listening to the transmissions changes you on a deeper level and anchors you into an embodiment and of your own worthiness and value in a way that you just.
Wouldn't have been able to access before. So it was very profound what came through. And it was really interesting cuz when I had this conversation with Terri, the inherently worthy program had just started to be channeled through me. So it was a really interesting time for me to have this conversation with her.
And I actually listened to a lot of her content around worthiness and it was really powerful for me too. So she is an incredible, incredible teacher and woman, and I know you're gonna love this episode. So just a few announcements here. Um, the Freedom event was outrageous. You guys. The power of that event, uh, was like nothing I've ever felt before in my body and in my being.
We had 93 women sign up, which is a record for me. So that's really exciting. And the transmission on the first day and the breath work on the second day was just so transformational for everyone. I've been sharing some of the comments, but people had such wild experiences like ancestral healings, familial healings, um, visions of their guides, heart openings, deep healings, deep releases.
It was so insane, and it really just solidified my decision to offer live guided breath work on a monthly basis, which is why I've changed my membership beyond the matrix to include one. Live guided breathwork session per month. And what I feel really strongly about is not only does breathwork give you a ton of momentum in your life, help you clear the familial and ancestral trauma that holds you back, but also what I believe is the key in my own success, which you've all heard me share, is my ability to have long-term relationships and meaningful emotionally mature relationships, especially with myself.
I feel like breath work has been the number one thing that's facilitated that, and I've always been very emotionally intelligent, but I discovered breath work at such a young age, and it's been a part of my life for so long. I don't even think I realized the degree that breath work had connected me to myself, and that breath work was actually the thing that facilitated me knowing myself so well on such a deep level.
And now I'm realizing that that's actually the key to creating the success that you desire in your business, creating the relationships you desire, creating the life you desire is having a deep and profound relationship with yourself. And breath work facilitates that. Which is why I am so excited to offer it in the membership.
And now the membership is only $97 a month. The doors are open until Friday, so you haven't until Friday to sign up. And not only will you get one live guided breathwork session with me every month, but you also get access to a library of recorded breathwork sessions and all of my recorded master classes, and you'll be invited to every masterclass I do in the future.
And there's one coming up very soon, by the way. So it's a really powerful space to be in, and you get so much for the price. I want as many people as possible to join so everybody can have access to these tools because the breath work alone will change things for you. So will link this below, but reach out to me if you have any questions.
That is the main thing that's going on right now. So definitely check it out. Definitely sign up, join us in the community. It's only a four month minimum, so you can cancel after four months if you want to, but I doubt you'll want to because you'll see so many changes in such a short amount of time once you start doing the breath work.
So yes, definitely check it out. Reach out to me if you have any questions. I'm sending you all so much love and enjoy the episode.
Hi everyone, welcome back to the show. So I am super excited to introduce you to today's guest. Her name is Terri Britt and she is former Ms. USA a Spiritual Coach, intuitive Healer, Ted X Speaker and the founder of Women's Leaders of Love Global Community, the author of several books, including the Enlightened Mom and winner of both New York and San Francisco book festivals.
Best spiritual book of the year, and there's a lot more here, but I'm sure we'll get all into it. Welcome to the show, Terri.
Terri: Thank you. I am so thrilled to be here. I love yapping, so this will be fun.
Alyse: Me too. Me too. So I'd love to just start with a, just a little bit about your story. Like if you can just share some of those pivotal moments for you that got you to where you are now.
Terri: Sure. I was raised in a typical family, just the American family where mom and dad put their kids first. Them, you know, their partners next and themselves last, believing this is the loving thing to do. So that's what I did. I was raised believing that love means you must deny yourself. So I did that. Now, I had two different voices in my head at home because I saw my dad.
He was God in home at our house. And so he was out in the world doing things, making money and everything was Dad got last say on everything. He was God. I don't know any other way to put it than he was. God and Mom suppressed herself. So I watched these two people having completely different dynamics.
Neither one of them ever really putting themselves first, but at least, or at least really connecting to who they are and what they wanted. Daddy did a little bit, so I saw his way as the better way. And I attached myself to his energy. I attached myself to that male push shove. You gotta do it, get it right, that kind of thing.
So I lived my life that way, and that meant in school, I was going after every accolade, every achievement, and I would get a lot of things. I was always straight a student. I would win at life in a lot of ways, but I didn't feel it on the inside. So I'd work that much harder, much what we see in our world, right?
Pushing. And so what I found is that I got angrier. I just got angrier and angrier. But what was interesting is that didn't feel I had any authority in my life. I always made others the authority, even to the point when I was in high school, I got molested by a modeling agent. And when I got molested by him, He said, I need to feel your breast and to see if you're firm enough for modeling.
And I knew without a doubt that this was wrong, but I had so been programmed to believe that the man was God, that I didn't feel like I had a voice. To step away from it. And it is interesting cuz I actually heard Oprah Winfrey say something along the same lines that she would not have had nearly as much abuse if she hadn't been so programmed to be good.
Mm-hmm. To give up her power. Right. So at that point then I got angrier cuz I started pulling away. And even though I was still trying to be the best in school, I found myself pulling away from the crowd. I really started hiding in a lot of ways. I followed my boyfriend to a school that didn't have broadcasting, but in my heart I wanted to get into broadcasting.
So I found myself even more miserable and he probably played around on me a little bit, is what my sense was and my intuition. And I would always get really jealous. I think it was in my freshman year of college, I put my fist through his kitchen window cuz I didn't feel that he loved me the way I wanted to be loved.
I was always looking at least for something to fill me up. Can you relate? Oh yeah. Just always looking for whether it was the accolades, my boyfriend, nothing was filling me up. So thankfully in my second semester of my sophomore year of college, I was at home talking to a friend on the phone talking about how much I hated school.
Now you have to understand, I was went to college on scholarship. I graduated second in my class in high school, out of 300 people. I mean, I was a brainiac, right? I thought school was everything. And so I'm miserable, and I'm telling my friend this. He says, don't go back. I said, I have to. And he said, says who?
And when he said that, it literally felt like something washed over my body completely. It was this knowingness. That I was done. I was done. So I went into my mom and dad and said, I can't do this anymore. I can't be here anymore. I'm miserable. And they thankfully supported me on that. I came home and the year prior, I had been in Miss Arkansas to try to get a break out of Arkansas.
I had this yearning to go to California. I was in a town of 4,000 people, right? And I just, you know how you feel that calling inside of you and I'm feeling it, but I don't know how to get there. I'm looking at options. There's no way to get there in my mind. And so I'm in Miss Arkansas. I make top five and I'm like, never again.
I'm not doing this again. That didn't do it. That didn't gimme a break. When I leave school in that second semester, I start working at Dillard's Shoe Store and a former Miss Arkansas walks in. She doesn't recognize me. I now have cut my hair off really short. When I introduced myself to her, she says, well, you gonna be in the pageant this year?
And I said, no, I'm just looking for a break. And that's all I was looking for. And she says, A production company out of Miami just bought the Miss Arkansas franchise. They make commercials, they do all kinds of stuff you might wanna reconsider. Well, of course that got my little antenna up right? And I told my mom, she made my dress.
I went into Miss Arkansas. I won Miss Arkansas in April, and two weeks later was shipped to Miss USA, did have had no time for training. Got into Miss A with my short brown hair and my very southern drawl, Bob. I made top 12. Bob Bark says, what are you doing, Cabo, Arkansas on a Saturday night? And I said, population 4,000.
I said, well, Bob, in the winter we stay at home, but in the summer we go down to the tasty freeze. We sit on the back of my friend's truck, he plays the banjo, the guys drink a little beer and dip a little skull. It's a real good time. And I won. Wow. I kinda broke the mold. But what happened that night? Where were several things that happened?
The first thing, of course, is your egos like, yeah, I did it right? You're so excited. Then the next moment I felt emptiness again. I didn't feel that love and approval. And you know what I'd been seeking all these years? I mean, here's the epitome of what some women would just say, this is it. Or at least back then they did, and it didn't fill me up.
And then the next moment I'm looking into the crowd where I knew my boyfriend is sitting and I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I believe that I've just screwed up his life by winning. Hmm. I am living by the belief that love may means you must deny yourself. And I'm about to be shipped to New York.
He's going to be left in Arkansas. And it was so profound that that night I actually sat in my hotel room and contemplated giving back the crown. Wow. Because I did not wanna ruin his life, and this is how big a deal it was for me. I had no permission to receive. And it seems weird to say that because I received so many accolades, but to really receive something that was so amazing and would change my life and change the lives of the people around me, I struggled and thankfully my family and my boyfriend said, keep the crown.
Go to New York. So I did, and after that I got into television and I found I could never break through my glass ceilings. I mean, I had a great job. What's now the E channel? Used to be movie time before E came in and I was the news anchor. I got to cover the Can Film Festival and the Academy Awards and do that kind of stuff again.
Never felt fulfilled, and then would try to get a new gig and would hit my glass ceilings. So I finally left everything to become a wife to my late husband, Steve. We were together almost 19 years, married, almost 17. He had a little boy named aj, who's now almost 40. I would try to mold AJ believing that I was preparing him for the future.
You have to do it this way, you have to do it that way. You have to act this way. And then I would put those same rules on myself believing that you have to perform. And I didn't understand what it was, but I would find myself more often than not screaming and lashing out. I mean, I remember one day just falling to my knees in AJ's room as he's sitting on his little bunk bed on the lower bunk, he's got his arms wrapped around his knees and he's sitting there crying, this little kid, and I'm screaming and I finally fall to my knees going, I don't know how to love you.
And I hated myself. I did not understand what was going on. I just knew that I was living by what I had seen growing up. I was living by the rules. Right. Well then I had two little girls and they are now in their own thirties, practically. Well, one of 'em, the youngest is almost 30. The other one's older.
And I'm pregnant with my second grandbaby and Oh, wow. Yeah. So I'm looking at these kids and I just want it to be different. Right. I don't know how to make it different, but I know I want to be different. Then my dad dies in 95, and in the moment of him dying, or actually it was a few days before, I can see that he's starting to die.
He had cancer. And my dad, who I had made my hero the last 10 years of his life, had become a recluse. He'd become an alcoholic. During Miss USA, I'd given him my money to invest. He lost all of it. So he had a lot of guilt and shame on him. He came from abuse. So as he's sitting there, and I talk about this in my TEDx talk, which was called unconditional self-love, a new family paradigm.
I'm looking at my dad as I see him collapse into a chair, and I'm just, I'm crying and I'm going, daddy, you can't leave. I love you. And Eli's eyes bug out as if he's in shock to understand that somebody loves him. And I realized in that moment that daddy had no forgiveness of himself, and then under finally understood that he couldn't receive love because he didn't feel worthy of it.
And it hit me as I'm looking at his life, that I was like my dad. Eventually I discovered I was also like my mother, that neither one of them, right? But at that moment, I discovered that neither one of them had much self-forgiveness, self-compassion. They just didn't, they had both come from abuse. They'd both come from trauma.
And so their idea was, if I make my children be good and , you know, be the best that it would be one, a reflection on them. But two, they truly, I really, truly believed, I've done a lot of deep work on this, that they believed that this was love. They were preparing me for the future. They weren't trying to tell me to be something different or put me in a box because they thought, you need to do this.
You're so wrong for being who you are. They really, truly thought, if we can make you be good, you won't have the pain and suffering that we had. Mm-hmm. But they didn't realize they were perpetuating more of a cycle. So when I saw all this, I was in therapy and my therapist said, you've gotta get into meditation.
You're wound really tight. So I ended up at a energy school. Now I came from Southern Baptist Religion and I was, at this point I'd been living in Southern California for a while. And cuz after Miss USA, I ended up in Southern California and that's where I met my husband. But I was open, but I still had a lot of programming.
The first night in my meditation class, it was the Southern California Psychic Institute that I was invited to go with a girl I had just met. And so I'm in this class with her and the first night I see the spirit go across the room and I'm like, holy crap, I'm, I not saying, but my eyes are bugged to the point where the teacher's looking at me going, you look like you've a ghost.
Are you okay? And I said, I think I have. And I said, I'm, I'm seeing a man. It was more of a silhouette. It wasn't like I could see every feature, but I said it feels like a man with a beard. And as I'm saying it, he moves up next to her and she puts, hand goes school. He passed over years and he hanging out here can imagine I was hooked.
I was so hooked. So I went from there to the energy healing with my hands, and then my girlfriend and I ended up switching schools and I started learning about intuitive healing. And what was so cool is the way we were trained is the teacher would say, should look at our crown chakras and say, you and you have matching pictures.
Go read each other and see where the blocks are. That's all she would say. She wouldn't tell you what the matching picture was. So you'd sit there, you'd be looking at the person's energy and you're clearing out blocks, and all of a sudden, for me, the way I would know that there was a problem or that I had a matching picture is I would get fuzzy.
You know, kind of how when you get into emotional chaos. And so that would be my cue to stop. I'd go within, look at my energy and find the matching picture, clear it, and then come back to sin to neutrality. The more I did this, the more peaceful I became, the more joyful I became the, I stopped judging my kids.
I stopped judging my husband because I saw them as well. If I'm reacting to you, it's something inside of me that's matching, and so I started doing that. Gradually. What was interesting is then the next step was I, I read a book on unconditional love and I'm meditating one day on unconditional love. When little Terri, the little five year old inside of me shows up.
I realized in that moment that I'd never seen her before. I'd always put her in the corner, put her in a closet, in a black closet where there was no love and no light. And I realized in that moment that I had never loved her, acknowledged her, taken care of her, nothing. I heard in my ear, get up and write this.
This is the beginning of your book. Very clearly. It was just this voice. So I got up and I started writing, and that was my first book called Message Sent Retrieving the Gift of Love and the Retrieving. The Gift of Love was understanding that we are all spirits here to help each other grow and connect.
And so instead of being in blame and victim mentality, I would see each situation as a gift and an opportunity to go within and love that little girl inside of me and to align with God with how I was created. I call it God. Some people call it source, whatever. It's just the name word I use. But through that then was guided to create my enlightened mom courses, which is helping moms to love themselves.
And then now I teach about worthiness because what I see is that the old family paradigm of self denial actually causes us to project our pain onto our families without even realizing it. And I remember one day I was doing a healing on my mother. She'd had a stroke. She's now 80, this was back when she was 56.
So I'm doing a healing on her, and I hear it in my ear. You're not to blame for your mother's pain. I went, what? You're not to blame for your mother's pain. And I realized in that moment that when my mom, who was suppressing herself would get angry and lashed out, I took it that I was the problem. So I had all this shame and guilt.
That's why I was performing so much for my family, for my kids, and trying to get them to perform because I thought that if you don't perform well enough, then you're going to be the problem and you're gonna cause people pain. So I took on all these different beliefs that I felt were the truth. I believed that I was bad when I'd lash out and get angry.
I believed that I didn't matter. I would always treat everyone else as if they were more important. And these are the beliefs that I've realized that I was really perpetuating a cycle of pain for my family. And so over the years, what I've seen is that as I held those beliefs, I really felt unworthy, right?
If you have a belief that I'm bad, I don't matter, I'm the problem, I'm not lovable, you're not gonna feel worthy. And so you're not going to receive. And that's why I didn't receive that title as Miss USA I re, I got it. But I didn't claim it. I didn't own it. And so now for years now, I've been really teaching people how to claim their crowns and how to break the cycle within the family.
And even if you don't have a family, you breaking the generational cycle. I work mostly with women in my women leaders of love community, but helping you break the cycle so that your friends can watch you, your relatives can watch you, and then eventually if you do have kids, they can watch you. And maybe if you don't, but we all have friends who watch us and learn, right?
So it's about really breaking that generational cycle of lack and suffering. So that's what I've been doing.
Alyse: Wow. Wow. Thank you for sharing all that. First of all, you're such a great storyteller, so I just wanna say that.
Terri: Thank you.
Alyse: There's so many things you said that I wanna dive into. It's so interesting what you're talking about right now, because literally right before this I was doing a, I do channel transmissions every week in my, I have a membership community called Beyond, and I do these channel transmissions, and what came through is basically so much of what you were just sharing about, about the intergenerational trauma and the worthiness piece and how we, we don't feel that growing up because our parents are projecting their wounds onto us and because they model to us that like they don't think that they matter, then we don't think that we matter. It keeps going until we decide to stop it.
And it was something I was just talking about, so it was just so funny that you were talking about that. Yeah. Just literally right after. It's always all perfect. There's so much you said that I just want to go into, but I think one of the things for moms in particular that's so important is I think that.
Just realizing that all you really have to do is to do the work on yourself and your kids benefit from that. I think that's so important. Cuz I have so many women, once they learn about their own trauma, they're like, oh my God, I'm so scared. I'm fucking up my kids. And I'm like, no, no, as long as you're doing the work, like it's all gonna be okay.
And I know that you work with moms too, so can you just talk a little bit more too about the work that you do with moms and anything? If there are moms out there that are like, oh no, I don't wanna fuck up my kids, or I wanna make sure I'm, I'm not perpetuating the generational trauma, what would you say to them?
Terri: Oh, I can relate. Oh my gosh. I can remember staring at my kids' picture on the fireplace at two o'clock in the morning crying. What am I doing to my children? Oh my God. I know. I would be so upset and worried. Well, what I can tell you is there is hope because. I have a glass wall at Aje unit next to me in my office and in it is a handkerchief from my daughter.
When she got married, I guess it's been five years now, and she said, thank you for showing me what you know to help me be the woman that I am, and showing me what a great relationship is. Now, this was a huge win, and let me explain why my late husband, Steve died when Mackenzie was in the 10th grade and Coby was in the eighth, so it was quite a shock.
He'd had cancer, he beat cancer, and then he died of heart attack. Those last six weeks of my husband's life, we had been taking a dance lesson or dance lessons. I had been working on my second chakra, opening up to passion. It was all this stuff. Well, he dropped dead of a heart attack. I'm in shock. My husband now, Charlie, shows up on my doorstep the next day.
Wow. Yes. He shows up on my doorstep the next day and his wife had killed herself five years prior. So he was a single dad to his daughter Haley. Our girls were on the same dance team. But you kind of hang out with your kids', friends' parents. His daughter's between my daughter, yeah. So I didn't know him.
I would say, Hey, how are you? No big deal. I was so crazy. He comes over and he says, let me support you through this. I'm like, okay, now I saw he was quiet cuz he seemed quiet. Right? I mean, he just didn't seem like he was very talkative. Well, next thing I know, Charlie, another girl and me are hanging out.
We're the single parents on the dance team. This is a big dance team. I'm trying to. Fix up Charlie and this other woman and you know, we're hanging out and he just says to me one day, he says, I'm not interested in her. And he didn't say what he was interested in, but I do remember one day he drives up on his Harley.
And I went, Hmm, I need to pay attention. Because I was like, this is interesting. You know, people think, well, how could you have done that so quickly? Well, when Steve was sick, it was a three year period from the day he got sick to the day he died. He had a year and a half of trying to get well and then we had a year and a half that he was well, but I had had my moments of grieving.
I also saw that how when he had advanced prostate cancer, that the radiation had done a lot of damage. And this is a man who lived fully. So he died at 56, but he had lived nine lives at least. But I also knew that the damage was not allowing him to live the life that he wanted to live anymore. So when he died, I called in his spirit and I said, why now?
Why did you leave? Now we're we're having all this fun. And he said, I finally let go of the controls. So I was okay with that cuz he had been willing himself to live and to be there for the kids. And for me, he knew I was okay. He knew the kids would be okay, so he left. So I was okay with that. My kids, of course, were grieving, they're gonna grieve the rest of their lives.
That's what a child does when they lose a parent is a huge trauma. But for me, cause I could see him and I could feel him and I could talk to him, I was ready to live. So I got a lot of flack of course, because Charlie and I started dating. So Steve died in February. Charlie and I started dating in May a year later in uh, July, we got married.
So the reason that handkerchief I was telling you about was so profound. Each of the kids got angry. Each of them got angry at different times. Now, I had raised my kids that you have to follow your heart. And for me, to me, when I'm listening to my heart, I believe we are all the essence of God. We help make up bo the body of God.
And so when I'm listening, I'm putting God first. I'm not putting ego first. I'm putting God first. So my, I'd say to my kids, you know, I've gotta listen to my heart. I gotta listen to what's in going on inside of me. My oldest at the time, she'd say, mom, you have a right to follow your heart. But they have a right to be angry too.
Well, in the end, she was the one who finally got angry. So they all had their spurts and they got through it. But each time I would look at them and say, I love you, and I would never intentionally hurt you. But God comes first in my life because that's unconditional love, right? That's when I am loving myself so unconditionally and I'm aligning with truth that has to come first.
And so we blended our families, we got married, blended our families, and we had a lot of ups and downs, but we just kept looking for the gifts, seeing what is it mirroring to us? What is it mirroring to us? Why that handkerchief is so profound is because my kids now thank me. Right? Mm-hmm. Because I continued to do the work.
I continued to not throw my energy at them, but instead, look at myself. If you're angry at me, I'm not gonna meet you with anger. I'm gonna meet you with compassion. For instance, when my husband died, col was in the eighth grade and Coby's like I am, she experienced this pain with anger where Mackenzie tends to crawl under the covers and deal with it at her own way.
Coby and I are very passionate and angry. Well, Kenzie said something to Coby one day. Gosh, Coby, you're so angry. And Coby was this little pip squeak thing. You know this other thing and, and her, she starts crying and screaming. She goes, I hate my life. I hate my life cuz she's missing her daddy. And she goes to her bedroom, slams the door.
I walk into her and I knock on the door and I said, baby, please let me love you. She opened the door, collapsed into my arms. That point I heard her tell someone about five years later, was the turning point because I didn't judge her for her anger. So when I was a kid, one of the reasons I kept pushing my anger down is I was told, you can't be angry.
They were saying, you need to be good. Push your anger down. Don't do that. You need to control it. But because I had looked at my anger and saw that my anger was my red flag saying I was out of alignment. I wasn't loving myself and being compassionate and kind and forgiving myself. So I was at a place in my life that I would embrace my anger so I could embrace Coby's anger.
And she said that was the turning point for her because I had done so much in her work that she could feel. The love and the compassion coming from me rather than judgment. Yeah. So when moms are struggling going, am I guilty? You know, what am I dealing with? The shame, whatever is you keep doing the work.
You keep doing the inner healing work. You keep loving that little kid inside of you and then opening up to guidance from the universe and you show your children how to really, what I say, claim your crown and own your worth. Because that's the example your children need to see, and my kids are thriving as a result of it.
They have issues, they've had trauma, but they both have amazing relationships. They're both on a path of really deeply loving themselves. I made some major screw ups and it's okay because I also believe that was our spiritual agreement. So that's what I would say is continue the work, because when you can see them saying, thank you, thank you for standing in your truth and showing us how we can stand in ours, there's no greater gift.
Alyse: Oh my god. I love that. I'm gonna cry cause I'm just thinking about like my own kids. One of the things that's profound to me is just the way that our kids mirror to us, like the stuff within us that needs to be healed. And I had this moment with my daughter a couple weeks ago where. I was really going through a lot.
My audience has heard me share in the last couple months. I've had so many like big things happen. Mm-hmm. I found out I have a brother that I didn't know about. I got into a really bad car accident and then subsequently had a bunch of like panic attacks and a lot of stuff come up. But it's moved me into this very different place and yeah, I was having this moment a couple weeks ago where I was just becoming very aware of this part of me, this 5, 6, 7 year old Alyse who just really needed support, really needed to feel safe, really needed to be held right, emotionally held.
And I was just very aware of this. Of part of myself. And I was like, okay, I really just need to go to bed early tonight. I need to be with myself. I really need to acknowledge this part of myself. And I think it was a Sunday night. And Sundays, I always like the kids to go to bed early. I should go to bed early on Sundays.
So I put my daughter to bed. She's six and a half by the way. I put her to bed. Oh. And I was like, ok, I'm just gonna be with myself. I really need to like just be with this part of myself that really needs to be held. And my daughter is now having trouble going to sleep. She won't go to sleep. And usually she's pretty good about going to sleep, but she won't go to sleep.
And she's like, mommy, I feel scared, blah, blah, blah. And of course my first reaction was I was annoyed because I just thought I needed timed myself right? So I was like, no, you need to go to bed. You need to go to bed. And she was like whining, crying, arguing with me. She came outta bed like three times and finally I got the message and I was like, oh, you just need to hold her.
Oh, like I needed to be held. I'm crying. Oh. And I actually just spent time with her and she crawled into bed with me and I held her, and of course she immediately fell asleep. But I got the healing from that because I knew that that's actually what the six year old version of me needed. Yeah. And I feel like there's so many opportunities for that within parenting that I think we sometimes miss.
Oh yeah. Because we're so wrapped up with making sure our kids do things that we think they should do in order to be successful. Like we miss these things that are actually shown to us that are opportunities for our own healing and for theirs.
Terri: Yes. Absolutely. May I share a story with you that happened that I feel like it was just so profound with Coby when Yeah, absolutely.
Coby was in, uh, fifth grade, and so fifth grade was the end of elementary, and then you were gonna go to middle school, so they start really ramping up back then. So you getting ready for the bigger school? Yeah. So all of a sudden her grades start plummeting. I'm getting concerned about, oh my gosh, my child's, she's gonna get into drugs, she's gonna go down a dark path.
All the reasons I was such a great student. Right. You can't do that. So I, I was a little freaked out. I go to her teacher and I said, thankfully, I had enough of my right mind. I said, I don't think Coby has good study skills. Everything's been easy for her up until this point. She goes, wow. I wish every parent would say that.
She says, here's a book. So I take the book home. I do not remember the name of it. I wish I did cuz it was really good once I could get into it. But I opened it up and I was, I can't read it. This is like mumbo jumbo. You know how when you're in such emotional chaos that nothing is making sense? Have you ever been there?
Alyse: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
Terri: So I'm feeling that way. I can't get anything from it. So finally, I used my tools and I sat down and looked at Little Terri and I said, what is this bringing up for you? Well, she said She has to make good grades. She has to make good grades. And that's when all the fears started really showing themselves.
I'm like, wait, no she doesn't. That's the old way of being. We know now that we just need to help her find what's right for her. And so I did this whole clearing by that, got to the belief and really cleared it out to the point where all of my emotional chaos went away. I went over to the book, opened it up, just opened it up, and it talked about kinesthetic learners.
That kinesthetic learners are kids who need to move. They need to be walking around when they're studying or just they have movement, they have action. I had been telling Coby, sit down and do your homework. Sit down. You need to be still. I was telling her who she was was wrong. So when I'm reading this, I'm like, oh my gosh.
Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. So I run to Coby and I said, I am so sorry. I said, I have been trying to make you be something you're not. I am so sorry. I love you, and this is the kind of learner you are. So this would probably help you, and so that you don't feel like you're floundering. I go back to the school and I said to the teacher, I said, Coby's a kinesthetic learner.
And she goes, well, of course she is. You didn't know that. I said, no, I didn't know that. Nobody has ever told me that. She said, yeah. She goes, I let my kinesthetic learners lay on the floor in the front of the room, and they're always rolling around and got their pencils moving around. She says, my audio learners are here and my visual learners are here.
So she really knew what she was talking about. That's why she handed me the book, but I wasn't honoring that at home. From that point forward, what was so interesting is Coby's grades went up. She didn't have any more issues. It was amazing to see that little spirit that she was and me needing to see to let go, that she was different, that I couldn't put my stuff on her.
And I tell you, it was, it was so scary at times. I had this visual, and I still do it at times where if I get. Find myself getting worried. I don't worry much anymore, but used to, and I've got grandbabies now, but I just really, I try to live in a state of trust. Not always, but I do pretty well compared to what I used to.
But I see the staircase, a spiral staircase that is going up, and when I start worrying about one of my children or my grandchildren, I imagine whoever it is that I'm worried about in my arms holding them, and I walk up the staircase and it's this golden staircase and I surrender them to God, I surrender them to the universe.
It's like, this is not mine to control. This is not mine to make better this child. This being is beautiful and I'm going to surrender this and get out of the way. That has been a game changer for me.
Alyse: Yeah, I love that so much. And I think that's so important because no one tells you this stuff and no one tells you like what's actually gonna happen for you when you become a parent.
And also the fears that are gonna come up. And for me, on my journey too, I realized a lot of it was like past life, ancestral, all of these different things that were coming up for me that I was then projecting onto them. And no one really tells you like how to deal with any of that. And also you can think that it's actually real, right?
And then you have to then do something about it. And really there's nothing you can do about it. When I first had my son, he's my older one, I would have these terrible fears about something horrible happening to him, and I couldn't control it. And since that time, he's almost nine now. Since that time, I've done so much work on myself and I've understood that where all of that was coming from and now I'm able to talk to my kids' guides and I understand their soul contract.
Like I get the bigger picture. Sure. But still, sometimes I have these deep fears and I think all parents do. And I think one of the things that's really hard that I see with a lot of my clients is just not personalizing what's going on with your kids? Like not making it about you. I find even for me sometimes, even though I know that my son, for example, he's a total like science, like computer nerd, he's obsessed with computers and like video games.
Like we have him in a coding class now he's learning how to do coding. Like he's super into that stuff. But he. Doesn't like sports. He doesn't like to play sports. He doesn't like to do a lot of the like traditional boy stuff. And I've seen him a few times when we're at different places or around other kids.
He doesn't wanna play like sports or whatever with the boys. And there was like a version of me that's, oh my gosh, is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me? And then I'm like, have to kind of take a step back and I'm like, no, this is who he is and he's amazing and all I have to do is nurture who he is.
But it's like we have to take ourselves out of it. And I think that's a really important part of the work and an important piece for people to understand.
Terri: Yes, I agree with you. And I think that's why. With Coby when she was having that issue in school, that I had to look at me first. If I'm reacting, if I'm taking it personally, if I'm getting so caught up in my fear that something's gonna go haywire, I have to look at that, right?
I have to look inside of me and say, what is the belief I'm holding onto? And that's when I talked to Little Terri, what's hurting? What's the belief you're holding onto that's creating this? So as, as long as I keep doing that over and over again, then I know I'm owning my worth. I'm being that example because it's all about that, right?
And it's like we wanna be able to put ourselves in a high vibration. We wanna attract things to us, but if we're holding guilt and shame, we're going to keep ourselves in self punishment. We're gonna keep attracting things to us that feel bad. And so the more we can see these opportunities with our kids, And look at ourselves.
Then we shift and they shift, and my kids used to fight all the time, and then I would get in the middle of it. So as soon as I looked at it and said, what's the belief I'm holding onto? It was, you can't have a voice. You can't have a difference of opinion, you can't have that. And as soon as I told little Terri, you have my permission to have a difference of opinion, you absolutely can.
My kids quit fighting. It was like, ok, you guys, your little spirits there. You're just playing your part. Showing me myself, and I mean it. It was like clockwork. Anytime I had an issue, I would shift it within me and my family would shift. I'd be mad at my husband for not listening to me, and then I'd look at myself and go, oh wait, I don't have permission to be heard, especially with a male figure.
I looked at my husband, this is my late husband years ago, and I said, you're taking my power away, and he said, honey, I am not taking your power away. You're giving it away.
Alyse: It's a hard pill to swallow.
Terri: It's, but no, when you can look at it, and so, I don't know if you know this, but my company is actually called Enlightened Family Institute.
That's my lc. When I was with my late husband, we got together and we were not enlightened in what sh No way, shape, or form, but I do have to say I was his third marriage and he said, you've got a lot of baggage. You need to get into therapy. So that was my first therapist way back when. But when I started shifting and he saw the shifts happening, we transitioned into a mission of learning and growing with each other.
It was so beautiful. I mean we, we were literally that couple humping like rabbits and excited to meet each other and know each other. Right. And then we get married and then there's the blame game. You're doing this, you're doing that cuz neither one, cuz everything's focused on the kids. So we've lost our connection.
But as soon as I started shifting and healing, I once started acknowledging him and giving thanks for him. I started, I went into gratitude for everything. Thank you for showing me myself. Thank you. I was just like, wow, I'm learning so much about myself if I'll just pay attention to you. So being in gratitude took me into this higher vibration, changed my whole family.
And so he saw the changes and then he started shifting too, which was so cool. And I was so grateful that Bec, he told me at one point, he said, I feel better in my skin than I've ever felt. And I, I asked him why. He said, when you quit caretaking me to find yourself, it forced me to find myself. And now I feel better than in my skin than I've ever felt.
And that was really key because if I hadn't done it, he would've died at the age of 56 without really having discovered, I. Himself and Lauren, he was always on the hamster wheel. He was trying to prove his dad wrong. He was very successful, but there was never any peace. There was never really any fulfillment until he was a garment manufacturer.
And he left everything to find himself. After watching me, and I don't know if you'll remember this, do you remember a company you may be too young? Uh, came out in the early two thousands called conscious one.com. So when Steve took time off to find himself, a year and a half later, Neil Donald Walsh's daughter Neil's the one who wrote Conversations with God, his daughter Tara, and this guy named Robert Evans had this idea for a company, and I don't remember exactly how they found my husband, but they said, we have an idea for a company and you're the man to do it.
And it was interesting because before that, Steve had said, I don't wanna be an achiever anymore. I wanna be a seeker. We'll let everything go. And then through the process of meditating, he says, I wanna do something bigger than myself. I wanna do something for the planet and God. And so when they came along, it was like, that answer was being revealed.
Conscious one was one of the forerunners in putting self-help courses on the internet. Wow. So we had Neil Donald Walsh, he was a Hayhouse author. We had all these Hayhouse authors that came on board because Hayhouse didn't have their own platform. So our conscious one was one of the first ones to get those courses out into the world.
It was so cool. When Steve died, the company ended up, cuz he died in 2007 and 2008, his partner, it wasn't working for him by himself I guess. And it went away. But it really made a difference. And I think, gosh, and look at all the people's lives who were impacted because I chose to heal. And then my husband made the conscious decision to heal.
And we became an enlightened family. And then this amazing opportunity came to affect more people and more families. So if you ever question whether you make an impact, just know that you do. You may not know it right in that moment, it may be yours, but as you heal, you become that light for the world and for your family.
Alyse: Absolutely. I can relate so much, and my audience knows my story, but I've been on the healing journey since I was like in my early twenties. But my husband and I will be our, it's our, actually our 10 year wedding anniversary next week. Congratulations. Thank you. And in the fall of 2021, we separated and since that time I thought we were gonna get a divorce, but my husband made it very clear that he was willing to like, Do whatever it takes to keep our relationship and keep our family together.
And he, and everyone's heard me share this, he really started to show up differently and I started to show up differently. We just got work done in our bathroom up here where our bedroom is. So we both had a shower in our son's room today, and as I'm talking about this, he just walked up in a towel. I love that.
That could not have been better timing.
That is so awesome!.
Anyway. Hilarious. So anyway, so we have been in this process of the last two years essentially. Year and a half agreeing that we are gonna completely change our relationship and making that commitment, like you said, that we're gonna heal and we're going to be different.
And also like I can totally relate to what you said because when I started my business and went down this path of healing, it really opened up a lot for him. And now he is doing something that he is completely passionate about and starting his own thing, which is totally amazing. And we've just completely shifted the way that we're showing up.
But it is so interesting because I think in the beginning of our. Separation. I was more looking at it like, oh, it's him. Like he needs to change. And not to say that I was wrong, cause obviously there's a lot of things that he changed and shifted and all of that. But then came the actual like realization of, oh, like my part cuz the same thing as what you said, oh, you're taking my power away.
Like, no, you're giving your power away. And it was like really just looking at all of the ways that I was showing up as like the wounded version of me, not in my power and not in my authenticity and. It's a hard pill to swallow and really having to look at how you are contributing to what you think is the other person's problem.
That's actually you.
Terri: it takes a lot of courage. This healing path takes a lot of courage. I think the most courageous thing for me was redefining love and Yeah. Because when you think of love as I must deny myself, no, when you deny yourself, you disconnect from your truth, you disconnect, and you put yourself at a very low vibration.
You put yourself in self punishment. And I had to really discern about am I doing punishment or am I doing love? And so the new definition of love is when I honor and love the way I was created, I own my worth. I raised my worthiness quotient, which is how open you are to receiving love, nurturing, and support simply for being you.
And then you put yourself in that high vibration and it's mirrored back to you. If everything's a mirror, then if I wanna get to a place where things are mirroring, to me abundance and joy, I have to choose prosperity consciousness. And prosperity Consciousness is when I choose to love myself and to really stand in that truth.
And so my husband knows that. He said to me, Charlie and I have been together now almost 15 years of marriage, and one day he said, I always knew you loved me, but until you taught me to love myself, I couldn't receive your love. Now I do. Wow. We don't receive until we love ourselves because we're not gonna feel worthy.
Alyse: Absolutely. I a hundred percent agree. And it's so interesting, I was just talking about this on my transmission earlier. I had this huge realization around support and actually allowing myself to feel supported. Like it's one thing to get support, right? Like I have a ton of support around me, but it's a complete other thing to feel supported.
And that's something that I have to choose and I have to allow myself to feel through the act of supporting myself and loving myself. And that was such a huge realization for me. And really just, you know what it always comes back to for me is like it's all coming from you.
Terri: Absolutely it is. And it's interesting cause I see this with people and my husband doesn't do this, do doesn't do that.
And, me along with our other girlfriends would go, what are you talking about? Yeah, you don't see it. But that is the reticular activating system of the brain as well. If we have been focused on trauma and we don't choose to see how we see things, then we're gonna keep letting our brain go there. I always think of it as if you're going to buy your car and you want, you're thinking I want a white jeep, all of a sudden you start seeing white Jeeps everywhere.
That's the reticular accident activating system. You start seeing it. Yeah. So you have to start choosing to see differently is, for instance, when Charlie, the first time he kissed me, it was very soon after my husband died, right when Steve died. So Charlie kisses me and I was like, that was interesting.
What was that? Cause it was different, right? I mean, I've been with my husband for 19 years almost. Cause I'm so conscious of things that are happening right in that moment that I realize I had blinders on as Charlie's trying to kiss me. I in my mind, pulled off the blinders. And said, let's try that again.
He comes up to me with hands on either side of my face, pulls me in, breathes me in and kisses me, and it went all the way down to my spine and I thought, I am so glad I took those blinders off.
Alyse: Oh my gosh, I love that. It's so funny cuz I always say to people like, well, you're looking at it through, I'm not good enough goggles or you're looking at it through, I'm unworthy goggles.
So it's so funny. I always say that I know exactly what you mean and you do have to consciously decide that you're going to see it differently and that you're willing to see it differently.
Terri: I love that. I love the goggle story. That's beautiful. I think I may you that got those unworthy goggles.
Alyse: Yes, yes. Exactly. Exactly. Oh my gosh, this has been such an amazing conversation. Thank you so much for sharing all the thank you everything that you shared. And can you just share a little bit about where people can find you and how they could potentially work with you?
Terri: Sure, of course. My website is Terri Britt.com.
That's t e r r i. Not a Y, but an I. Britt. That's B R i T t.com. I would really love for people to go take the worthiness quotient quiz because Oh yeah, that looks
really good. I'm gonna go take that now.
Funny cause I ran into a girl a couple of days ago. We have a coffee house up here in the mountains and we have music bingo, and she goes, Terri, I took the worthiness quiz again. I said You did. She goes, yes, my numbers went up. I'm really loving myself. And uh, so it's a quiz cuz your worthiness question is helping you are to receiving love, nurturing, and support simply for being you no performing really redefining love, right?
So your feelings are your guide telling you, am I really doing this? And so there's eight different areas that we look at in the quiz where you're gonna look at relationships, you're gonna look at money, you're gonna look at, do you feel like you're deserving of miracles? That kind of stuff. Okay? And you're gonna really touch into your feelings.
Then in the end, you're gonna get a personalized report with the different areas in their breakdowns, plus your overall numbers so that you can see where are the areas that I'm not really loving myself, that I haven't cleaned out the beliefs. And then you're in your report, you're gonna get some steps onto how to help you.
So it's really cool. It was a divine download. It's just Terri Britt.com/quiz. And then that will guide you to the web. I have a free webinar, which you guys kind of heard this story, but I really break down what the worthiness question is and explain it. People say, I've never had people really explain energy and why we attract things to us, so it's worth seeing.
And that's their uh, cherry Britt.com/webinar. And it's free of course. Then I have a Women Leaders of Love Worthiness Question Breakthrough Bundle, which is totally free, which is my Women Leaders of Love ebook. It really shares why we need to do this, and it's got three guided meditations and the one I really love the most in the three meditations and they build on each other is when I guide you into looking at your family's spirits to see the gift you give them when you love yourself.
Mm-hmm. Because most people dunno how to do that. So you're opening up to your intuition and I love that. So that's just Terri Britt.com/leaders. And then finally, obviously if you wanna reach out for coaching or anything like that, you can just go to info@TerriBritt.com. But I have a quote, my worthiness quotient course.
What you were talking about, Alyse, about the generational stuff and how would you clean that out back when your son, I believe was little. Mm-hmm. Uh, my worthiness quotient course is 18 meditations. It's six modules, three meditations in each one with a p d in each one, and a journal prompts in each one.
But it takes you step by step into not only learning new tools, but to release the programming you've taken on in this lifetime, but also from family generational stuff and maybe even past lives, depending on how far you go back. But that I've had people tell me that it literally just changed her life.
I had this one woman do the course during the beginning of the pandemic, and her whole company got furloughed. She totally focused on the course, just self-love, and even though she'd been furloughed, business flooded in to her, she carried the whole company for that month. Of April when we first went down.
Yeah. So it shows you that, you know, if you focus on this love and this energy and this vibration, you're gonna put yourself in a high worthiness quotient so things can show up that are just mind boggling. I love that. So I love it and it's something that I feel so passionate about, especially for families, because we wanna break that cycle, right?
Alyse: Absolutely. Yes.
Terri: Now, so anyway, with the course, for anybody who wants to go there and check it out, it's Terri Britt.com/worthy. If you go into the shopping cart to get it, it's really inexpensive already, but if you put in the coupon code talk T A L k, you get 50% off.
Alyse: Oh, awesome. Okay. We'll put that in the show notes and I'm gonna get that too.
It's so funny you're bringing this up cause I'm actually teaching a five week immersion called inherently worthy. Where we're going super into worthiness, so this is perfect. I'm actually gonna go get that and listen to it.
Terri: Oh good. And then by all means, go check out my TEDx because the more people that see it up.
So if you can put that in the notes, but you can just on YouTube, you can do Terri Britt TEDx a new family program or unconditional self-love. It's unconditional self-love. A new family paradigm. Cause I know your listeners. Believe in this or they wouldn't be here. Yeah, totally. And it's so hard when you're trying to live this way and you feel people like your teachers, the kids', teachers or other parents, and they're driving their kids to be on the hamster wheel, and you are just wanting to get your kids off of the hamster wheel, right?
You want them to thrive, but you want them to do it on their own divine timing and their own divine path. And so the more of us that do this and understand why breaking the old family paradigm is so important, then we plant the seeds. So if people will go. Watch the YouTube like it comment, which drives up, up in the algorithms, and then of course share it with friends.
That would be amazing.
Alyse: Of course. Yes. We will link that below. And I definitely wanna watch that. Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. And thank you for sharing all of that with us. And then for our final question, for you, what is a non-negotiable when it comes to fully reclaiming your consciousness?
Terri: To me, it is absolutely that God comes first in my life, that at every moment I choose what does unconditional love feel like for me?
Because to me, that is going to align me with God, that's gonna align me with the way I was created and that. Is not negotiable.
Alyse: I love that. It's so true and it's so perfect. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing everything that you did, and I know everyone's gonna love it. Thank you.
Terri: It was a blast. Thank you.
Alyse: Thank you so much for being here. Don't forget to subscribe to the show, leave a review and share this show with your friends who you know are yearning for this type of content. You can stay connected with me by following me on Instagram @Alyse_Breathes, and by joining my Facebook group Breathe to Succeed where I share my weekly energy forecast. And subscribe to my list where you'll receive a free breathwork session, meditation and journaling prompts to deeply connect with your intuition at alysebreathes.com. See you next time.